I can honestly say that since I have arrived in Finland, I have not experienced an extreme emotional flare. Meaning, I've never felt homesick, lost, frustrated, or alone to a point I could not handle.
The above statement was 100% true, until today. Because today was.... it just was.
Today was my first day of Suomi language course in Oulu, and coincidentally, my first time alone in Oulu. I figured I might get lost on the way from my bus stop to the school, so I made myself a map from Google maps with all the cross streets and everything. I thought I was really damn through. While on the bus though, a series of events and misinterpretations lead me to get off at the wrong stop. I was 3km away from where I was supposed to be, but I didn't know that. I walked confidently in one direction, certain that I was going the right way. I stopped after a half of a kilometer and retraced my steps, then went a quarter of a kilometer the other way. I didn't see any of the street names on any of the maps I made. I knew something was wrong. I phoned my host mother and asked her to check where I was and she told me that I had gotten off at the wrong stop. She dropped everything she was going and drove half an hour to pick me up and bring me where I was supposed to be. When I finally arrived at the Finnish course (an hour late, I might add) I found out that I had signed up for the wrong one. I went down to the main desk and switched my courses, then trudged, defeated, to my bus stop. I got there half an hour before the bus was set to leave, but I was alright with waiting. And that's what I did. I waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. 45 minutes passed, no bus. Oh god no, I thought, the bus has to be here. I can't have missed it. But I had. It turns out that at that particular time the bus left from a different station. At this point I walked behind the bus station building, sat down in the dirt, and cried. I had never felt so... Dependant before. I was so useless, helpless, and stupid. After a solid cry, I checked my bus schedule and found out the next bus left at 22:10. It was 21:00 at this point, and I was done with life. I phoned my host mother to let her know I'd be really late getting home. I insisted that I would wait for the bus and that she should not come drive into Oulu again to rescue me, but she would here nothing of it.
When she drove up a half an hour later, she smiled at me and said "epäonninen päivä." I could not help but laugh, and she joined me. It had truly been an unlucky day. On the drive home we had a long conversation in Finnglish, and I was able to step off the emotional roller-coaster that I had been riding all evening.
I cannot now, and I don't think I will ever be able to express my gratitude towards my host mother and family. The support that they give me is phenomenal and they are truly an amazing family. I hope that if/when I have a family, mine is at least half as loving and comfortable as the Manninens.
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